WIERD MOMMY MOMENTS

Some days I love to blog about all the great "extra" info we get in the news business that can't make it on air. And some days I love to talk about being a "newsmom."

This is a "mom" day.

Sometimes we mothers can find ourselves doing the strangest things.

We go to church on Tuesday and Thursday nights. The other night my 4-year-oldson had homework, so I brought it to church. My daughter ended up being ill, so I sat in the church bathroom letting her rest most of the service. Great, I thought - we can do homework while we're in here.

But I didn't realize the homework involved cutting and pasting. I hadn't thought to bring glue sticks so... improvise... improvise... so we used lip gloss from Mommy's purse instead! Then, of course, my son wanted to TRY ON the lip gloss!

Ever have a wierd mommy (or daddy) moment? Do share!

HOT CAR

I covered a heartbreaking story recently about the Ohio mom who left her two-year-old in the car all day. Changed her morning routine, was running to meetings, and simply forgot about her. She's a middle school assistant principal -- someone who clearly has a concern for kids -- yet will now be haunted the rest of her life because of what happened to her own.

I learned there are some devices on the market that will "beep" to remind you if you've left the baby in its car seat. (So as not to advertise, I'll let you Google them.) But there's a pretty strong debate about whether manufacturers should be reminding parents "Oh, don't forget your CHILD!" -- or whether parents just need to slow down their lifestyles and responsibilities and put their most important priorities -- their children -- first.

As a parent of two little ones, I can't say (thankfully) that I've ever forgotten them in the car. But I've certainly had that debate with myself about whether it's safe to leave them locked inside for 30 seconds while I run back into the house to get something I forgot. Or whether they'll be OK sitting in the car while I run in the mini-mart to get a soda ("I can see them through the window.") Strapping them in and out of those car seats is such a hassle that these things DO cross your mind.

Another parent offered this perspective:

"We're concerned what may happen to the kids, but what about what may happen to YOU? What if you're hit by a car running into the mini-mart, and you've left the kids alone?"

I hadn't thought about it that way.

So many choices to make, to keep our most precious possessions... safe.

BACK TO SCHOOL!

You know it's that time of year when kiddies with backpacks crowd the corner every morning...

you can get a pack of pencils for 5 cents at your local office supply store...

and your neighbor's child comes by asking if you want to buy gift wrap (our fundraiser starts the second week of school!)

But I must say, for the last 3 months I've missed morning mayhem, homework, packing lunches and all the wonderful chaos that comes with having kids in school. Tonight's our "Back to School" night, so I'll get to meet my daughter's teacher for the first time.

This year I decided to get involved in the PTA and see what that's all about. What I like so far is that I get a heads up on everything happening at school before it happens.

It's funny - when school starts, my whole schedule changes. All summer I drove to work after dropping the kids at camp. But when school starts, I usually hop back on the Metro.

Evenings are totally different. Instead of grilling on the deck and watching the stars, it's "eat your dinner - do your homework - time for bed."

Maybe we can do homework on the deck under the stars, just as a little reminder that summer's not quite gone yet. :)

BREATHING EASIER

My preschooler has asthma, so this story caught my attention:

The National Institutes of Health announced new guidelines for treating asthma. Instead of just focusing on attacks, NIH wants doctors to spend more time on prevention. They want patients to get written plans on how to manage the disease. And they want doctors to periodically monitor a patient's lung function to determine future risk -- even if they have few symptoms.

Why the focus? For one, kids are going back to school, where they're likely to catch colds. Colds are a major trigger for asthma attacks. I know all about that. We start listening for wheezing at the first sign of a cough.

Also, asthma's becoming a huge and costly problem -- 22 million adults and 6.5 million children have it. The CDC says for kids it's increasing 4 percent a year. And asthma deaths among children have tripled in the last 30 years. Every year, asthma causes 14 million lost school days.

So it's a big problem. But be encouraged -- some kids DO grow out of it. I hope mine is one of them.

INTERNET, OYSTERS AND PLASTIC

Here's some Friday "news you can use":

Symantec -- which makes the popular Norton virus protection for your computer -- commissioned a poll about kids outsmarting their parents online. Here are some highlights:

• Kids spend more than twice as much time online as parents think (7 hours a week)
• almost 1/4 do things online that "their parents wouldn't approve of"
• 1/5 have dealt with inappropriate materials online
• almost 1/5 have been "cyber-bullied" (receiving embarrassing pix, video or messages)
• 7% have met an online stranger in person
• almost half of parents use controls and spy on their kids emails and web sites
• most parents say they know more about the Internet than their kids, but half of the kids say THEY know more

So keep your eyes wide open!

A couple of warnings from the FDA this week:

• Rice sold online to lower cholesterol could cause kidney problems
• Contaminated oysters from Washington State can cause diarrhea, cramping, nausea, fever, and chills for 3 days

Also this week, a panel of scientific experts from the National Institutes of Health said the chemical "Bisphenol A" -- found in baby bottles, hard plastic sports bottles, water fountain containers and children's dental sealants -- likely does NOT cause prostate cancer and reproductive problems as critics claimed. But they are concerned about neural and behavioral effects. Here's more on what the scientists, critics, and plastics industry have to say.

Happy weekend!

Newsmom T

WHAT YOUR KIDS ARE REALLY DOING ONLINE

There's a new survey out. The headline is: they're spending a lot more time than you think doing things you can't imagine.

I'm reading the details and hope to give you the highlights tomorrow.

In the meantime, go get your kids off the computer and eat dinner together. :)

T

INHUMAN, SENSATIONAL REPORTERS

Regarding the Minnesota bridge coverage, a faithful reader makes this valid comment:

"The media gripe I have is the rush to judgment and the sensationalist piece - it really does seem like the reporters on some stations have insulated themselves so much from feeling that they appear disappointed if the death count goes down."

It reminds me of a news producer I worked with who often read her Bible. Once, on a very slow news night, she looked up from the Bible to the newsroom scanner, and said: "We really need a lead [story] tonight. I hope we get a good house fire or [car] crash."

Then she went right back to reading -- as if that was the most normal thing in the world to say.

I'm not making excuses, but let me try to explain -- based on my experience covering breaking news -- how this happens:

When a big story happens, there's a HUGE adrenaline rush in the newsroom. In an instant people are running around, grabbing gear, running out the door, working the phones, making flight arrangements, dialing up satellites, sending out live trucks, desperately looking for information, and running to the studio to report it. Your sense of horror about the event quickly falls on the back burner in the massive effort to cover the story. And get it on the air. And get it first. And get it right. Because that's what creates loyal viewers... and ratings... which draw advertisers... who pay your check.

At first, you're so involved in the logistics of doing your job that there's little time to think about -- or feel -- anything else.

The sensationalism, I think, comes from an insatiable demand for 24-7 news. Whether that's truly fueled by viewers, or the media, is a valid question. But the fact is, when you're reporting on the scene of breaking news, the producer at the station (with the News Director breathing down his/her neck to beat the competition) comes to you live over and over wanting "new" information when, often, there is none. So any small tidbit becomes larger than life.

For instance, if you see a diver come out of the water shaking his head, reporters may say:

• "Rescuers have "apparently" become discouraged, wondering if they'll ever find all the victims" - leading to speculation about whether the death toll is rising. So the producer calls in an expert to talk about the psychological effects.

or,

• "Rescuers "appear" frustrated, realizing this is a much bigger job than they can handle." That can open a whole debate about whether the county has enough divers, and whether the mayor's doing enough to get help in this crisis. So another reporter is assigned to do a package on how the city has cut funds for rescue services.

All this from a guy shaking his head. Maybe he was just wet and shaking off water.

It's not responsible and certainly not an excuse. I'm just trying to explain how these things happen.

Then, once you're out there, you see the network guys arrive and think: "I'd love to do THAT job one day!" So you focus on your on-air presence and delivery, hoping some News Director or agent will see you on a satellite feed and pull you out of Smalltown, Alabama (no offense - I lived there!) into a bigger market. That motivates you get the best elements for your story, so you can "stand out." That prompts you to rudely stick a microphone in the face of a grieving mother and ask: "What are you thinking as divers search for your missing son's body?" -- then get her answer on TV as soon as possible.

As someone who's had to do those interviews, let me say this: MOST reporters hate doing it. It is, however, part of our job to show what victims' families are going through. I've found two things to be true. First, there are respectful and disrespectful ways to approach families in sensitive situations like this. Second, some people WANT to be on TV when they're grieving. Some find it cathartic. Some want to get their loved one's story out there, so they're not remembered as just a statistic. For those people, we give ample opportunity. For those who want privacy, we should respect it.

Hope that gives you some insight.

News Mom T

THE MINNESOTA BRIDGE

Makes you think, huh? People trying to get home, maybe in a hurry. Working moms trying to figure out what to pull out of a hat for dinner tonight. Parents rushing to get their kids before day care closes. People on cell phones. Listening to music, trying to forget the day. Kids coming back from a summer camp trip.

Then suddenly, in a moment -- life changes. Or ends.

Actually, it makes me thankful. Watching this coverage has been horrifying. I realize every car I see in the water was a life - or several lives. People with hopes, dreams, problems, marriages, mortgages. Just like me.

In news we're often accused of being sensational, but in this case, I think the "could it happen here" story is completely warranted. Most people driving over a bridge today must be wondering if it's safe or about to give way.

Having covered many tragedies, I know the anguish some of those reporters feel. Often we mask our feelings to get through it and break down later. Sadly, there are a few who have become so immune that they never really grasp that this is a real tragedy affecting real people -- not just the best story ever on your resume tape.

But it's hard to watch the tearful families, day after day. I can't imagine what it's like to BE one. A few years ago we covered a string of missing and murdered children's cases. There's always a "sympathy wall" where friends and neighbors place flowers, notes, balloons as a makeshift memorial. It's always so sad.

After about the fifth one, I was doing a live shot and my producer asked if I wanted to go to the sympathy wall and shoot video. I just couldn't do it - not again. The grief had started to weigh in.

A few weeks later, a cute little girl about my daughter's age went missing from a neighborhood near mine. Authorities announced they found her body miles away as I was preparing for a live shot. I couldn't stop the tears. I guess that one just hit too close to home. I did get it together in time to do my job, but to this day I often think of her when children are reported missing.

A sign of weakness? Not fit for my job? Maybe. But I like to think it's a sign of being HUMAN -- a really important quality of a good reporter.

BAD NEWS ABOUT NEWS

For FUN today I checked out a popular newsletter for TV folks and learned:

• Robin Roberts has breast cancer
• An TV producer depressed after being let go for drug abuse fell off a building and died
• A Pittsburg anchor who'd been depressed is off the air
• Tom Snyder died
• Four chopper pilots and photographers died in a crashed covering a chase
• A few more news people died and retired

and the GOOD news:

• Another chopper came down but all 3 survived

Fun? Not. A coworker said: "People used to complain that the news was depressing. Now the news ABOUT the news is depressing."

I've got to wonder if we've fallen in a rut and don't know HOW to report good news --

or is the business really that bad?

CHANGE

Most people who watch TV news have little idea of what goes on behind the scenes -- not just getting stories on the air -- but the environments in which we work.

News changes constantly and so can our surroundings. I remember reading the average tenure for a news director is two years. When news managers come and go, they often take our co-workers with them. And digital TV is forcing all sorts of personnel changes.

It's challenging to do great work on deadline when you're concerned about the livelihoods of yourself and your co-workers. In a way, that's a good thing. It reminds me I'm not just a news machine, but a real, caring human being.

Facing change can be scary -- or exciting, depending on how you look at it. Some of my best opportunities in life have come after what I initally thought was a disaster. Of course, that lesson is best understood after the storm -- not when you're in the middle of it.

Today we're reporting on wounded soldiers having trouble getting benefits. These are men and women who lost limbs, can’t sleep, have terrible headaches and live with horrible nightmares that are REAL – yet they can’t get a doctor’s care or money to support their families when they can’t work.

Talk about being in the middle of the storm!

Perspective helps us put a fresh look on everything, doesn’t it?

HIATUS OVER!!!

If anyone's still out there... WE'RE BACK!

After taking several months off to re-assess, I decided I missed this blog! So many of you asked "What happened?" that I realized we must have made an impact. Or at least made you laugh. Or think.

I'm hoping to recruit other News Moms to contribute from time to time. In the meantime, look forward to some interesting tidbits, news-you-can-use, and personal reflections.

It's good to be home!

T

EXPLAINING DEATH TO CHILDREN

The death of former President Ford this week hit home. We've had three deaths in the family this month. (That, along with the holiday frenzy, accounts for my two-week absence here.) President Ford had four great-grandchildren. They must be young. I wonder how they, and their parents, will deal with this?

My grandmother was one of the relatives who recently passed away, and my children knew her well. I doubt my three-year-old will remember, but I hope my five-year-old daughter retains fond memories of visiting her great grandmother at the nursing home, feeding her, singing her songs and telling her stories. To me, there's nothing like connecting the older and younger generations.

I struggled with how to explain that Grandma B died. My daughter's actually been to a funeral before and remembered seeing "cousin Betty in the box" and the box going into the ground. We've talked about our beliefs on what happens after life ends. But the concept of permanence seems to escape her. After we visited the funeral home, she asked some interesting questions -- some so amusing they actually lightened the moment:

• Will she wake up when they close the box?
• Will she be scared in there? It's dark.
• Who put on her lip gloss?
• Will she wake up if I tickle her?
• After the funeral's over, can she go eat dinner with us?

Since then we've talked some more, and she even did some beautiful artwork in honor of Grandma B.

Why did I chose to bring her along and expose her to the details of death at such a young age? Children are naturally curious, and the things we shield them from are often the things they pursue or -- without adequate guidance -- fail to understand. As children, my mother and I both had frightening experiences with family friends who died. I'm hoping that by including my daughter early and making death a normal part of life, my daughter won't experience that fear.

What do the experts say? The National Network for Child Care says "most children are emotionally strong and want to know about death. The truth helps them understand what is real, and what is imaginary."

For small children: "Young children need to ask questions about the death again and again. They need to learn the facts about the death and to make certain the facts have not changed."

On attending memorial services: "Children need rituals. Participating in the funeral or memorial service helps make the death seem more real and encourages the healing that comes from mourning."

And on coming face-to-face with their loved one: "Viewing the body helps the child understand what death is and that their loved one is, in fact, dead. Few children later regret viewing the body; many regret not doing so."

Good advice on something we'll all face at one point or another.

News Mom T

DIGITAL WORLD

It just cracks me up everytime I see a teenager with a cell phone in one ear and an IPOD in the other... or thumbing away texting a friend while they're playing a video game. I have visions of the inside of their brains being completely fried.

The Kaiser Family Foundation today released a report about "Media Multitasking" -- doing more than one digital activity at a time. 65% of teens and preteens say when they're doing homework on the computer, they're usually also IMing (that's "instant messaging") their friends, surfing the web, playing a video or online game, watching TV or using some other form of media. But surprisingly, when they're watching TV, they're in the zone, so to speak. Less than half say they "multi-task" while their favorite program or video is on.

What's not clear is what affect this has on kids. Scientific research shows kids can successfully do more than one thing at a time, but the task at which they're least proficient may suffer. Homework????

There's also a question about the quality of what they're doing. It takes little brain power to IM while playing a video game. But add into that mix writing a paper on the Revolutionary War. Can kids really concentrate and do their best work when distracted? The science is up in the air.

Advertisers, on the other hand, have figured out cute commercials just don't cut it anymore. To get kids thinking, and involved, they've got to meet them on their playing field. Enter cell phone ads, online ads podcasts, forums, chat rooms and other interactive means of getting messages into the minds of young people.

It's TEOTWAWKI, IMHO.

TTFN. CUL8R.

News Mom T

P.S. Ask your kids to interpret. :)

SPECIAL NEEDS

It surprised me to learn that 1/5 of Americans are disabled. 54 million people. Another 23 million parents have disabled kids. It makes a big difference where they spend their money: what kids of restaurants they visit, toys they buy, clothes they purchase. Yet some disabled consumers believe corporate America has largely overlooked them.

How difficult that must be! We interviewed a marathon athelete who's physically disabled. She flies from town to town competing, but at the airport used to have trouble finding a rental car that offers special adaptive equipment. Once she found a company that makes it easy for her to book that special request online, she became a loyal customer.

Isn't that how it is with all of us? I know once I find a product, store or service that offers EXACTLY what I need, they've won a loyal customer. Even if it's a longer drive. Even if I have to pay a bit more. There's something to be said for getting what you pay for!

News Mom T

IRAQ CHRISTMAS

Newsmoms covered Iraq today - specifically, what's the President going to do to turn around the situation there, and public opinion? Only 27% of Americans now approve of how he's handling the war.

It's sad to think that all those troops will spend yet another Christmas so far from home. We'll soon see pictures of them standing in line to eat turkey dinner in a tent... opening care packages... and saying "Hi Mom!" -- when what mom really wants is to have her son or daughter home.

You have to wonder if those men and women -- some of them so young -- had any idea what they were in for when they enlisted. For our sakes, thank goodness they're willing to make the sacrifice.

News Mom T

STILL EATIN' TURKEY AND RUSHING OUT THE DOOR

It's Tuesday, and I had dressing and green bean casserole AGAIN for lunch today. I've had it. Tonight we're going out.

On another note:

I've been wondering how morning routines affect school behavior. I can't find much research to analyze what's happening at my house. I try to make sure my kindergartener and preschooler get enough sleep and a good breakfast. But lately I've noticed those things seem to have little to do with what happens later at school.

On days when we're not rushed, well-rested and eat well, I expect they'll have a great day. So I'm shocked when the teacher emails that my daughter isn't following directions or getting along with classmates. On days when we're running late, cereal spilled, I'm yelling and they're crying as we rush out the door, I cringe thinking that the morning rush has ruined their day (and the teacher's). Undoubtedly, that's when notes come home about my "star students."

There's just no rhyme or reason to it. I'd love to know what other moms are experiencing.

Not only do rushed mornings and sleep deprivation affect behavior, they can also affect learning. Here's an interesting blog by a doctor -- with some replies from teachers -- on what happens when tired, hungry, cranky sleepy kids try to learn.

I'll try to remember that tomorrow as I'm nicely rushing them out the door.

News Mom T

VIDEO GAMES AND KIDS' BRAINS

Researchers from the Indiana University School of Medicine report today more specific evidence on how violent video games affect teenagers.

They split 44 kids, ages 13 to 17, into two groups to play video games for half an hour. One group played an exciting, fast-paced racing game. The other played a shoot-and-kill war game that was rated for teenagers, not adults. Afterward, they looked an MRI images of the kids' brains.

The MRIs showed significant differences in brain activity. The kids who played the violent game were more emotionally aroused and less able to concentrate or control inhibitions.

Though video game sales are levelling off from a decade ago, they still generate more than $7 billion a year in sales. The gaming industry says people who don't like violent games are free not to buy them. And while they don't promote violent games, they strongly believe in their First Amendment right to sell them.

A number of states have tried to restrict violent video game sales, but the industry is winning some of those fights in court. There's also a federal bill backed by Sens. Hillary Clinton and Joe Lieberman, but it's stuck in committee.

News you should know.
News Mom T

'TIS THE SEASON TO BE ... SPENDING?

Today we reported on the annual surveys predicting what shoppers will spend this holiday season and how much debt we'll create. What caught my eye is the fact that parents spend more than people without kids. I guess all those toy commericals work.

The Conference Board Consumer Research Group says the average U.S. household will spend $466 on gifts this year, slightly down from last year. The National Retail Federation predicts almost twice that, which they say is up from last year. The good news: their survey finds more people plan to use cash and debit cards instead of credit.

The Consumer Federation of America and Credit Union National Association's surveys find half of all Americans plan to spend the same as they did last year. About a third say they'll spend less, and 15 percent say they'll spend more. What's frightening: Almost half (45%) are unconcerned about credit card debt, and the January follow-up surveys always show consumers spent more than they'd planned.

There's so much pressure to go into debt during what's supposed to be a joyous season: pressure from retailers, from kids, social pressure ("I've got to get the boss a nice gift.") -- and maybe even pressure from ourselves to out-do what we did last year.

Retailers present incredible deals, only to offer five better ones once we're in the store with wallets open or credit cards in hand. Lenders make it easy to have the holiday of your dreams. Today I got an email declaring that I should "Prepare for the holidays" by taking out a home equity loan to buy gifts.

I'm hoping to make a modest gift list this year and stick to it. Some friends will get baked goods -- a gift that's affordable and from the heart. Some may get a card saying I made a donation to charity in their name. And some may just get a card letting them know I'm thinking of them. I can't imagine they really need another pair of mittens.

What I really look forward to this season are the gifts of time and friendship. I cherish days off with my kids, visits with relatives, phonecalls from old friends, and hopefully some time spent with those less fortunate.

I'll take that over another kitchen gadget any day.

News Mom T

SIMPLY HEARTWARMING

Sometimes we News Moms get to tell stories that make our work really rewarding. Today was one of those days.

Imagine your son needs a kidney transplant, but you're not a compatible donor. Your neighbor needs the same transplant but his wife isn't compatible. But YOU and the neighbor are a match, and so are his wife and your son. Follow me? A swap could save both lives.

Unfortunately, that swap is technically prohibited by federal law, which says a person can't donate an organ if they expect to get something of value in return (like a life-saving kidney for their child or spouse). The law was desgined to prevent people from selling organs, but it inadvertently prohibits patients from swapping them as well. Doctors believe 30-thousand patients on waiting lists could die because they have an incompatible donor and can't "swap" with someone who is compatible.

That's why today's story is so heartwarming.

A few hospitals around the country have dared to defy that law and perform these "kidney swap" surgeries. Last week, Johns Hopkins in Baltimore did a five-kidney swap that started with a woman who had no sick relative -- she simply wanted to do a good deed in memory of her daughter who died two years ago on Thanksgiving. She started a ripple effect that ended with five donors and five recipients. Five lives were saved -- including a grandmother who had no donor and had been on the waiting list for two years.

We cover so much sad news about war, crime, poverty, etc -- how rewarding it is to share this story! I certainly don't mind putting a crying mother on TV when I know her tears of joy could help someone else down the road.

News Mom T

SCARED TURKEY

News Mom T was off the beat today. My two youngest and I all had dental appointments -- mine, unfortunately, a bit more serious than theirs. To tell the truth, I was pretty anxious about it, and apparently it showed. My five-year-old offered to skip school so she could hold my hand.

I was trying all last week not to let it show, because I didn't want them to be afraid of their dentist. Turns out, they were just fine. They had cartoons, sunglasses, strawberry flavored toothpaste, prizes and "Mr. Thirsty" to distract them. I just had novacaine, a big needle and drilling.

Isn't it funny how we try to protect our kids sometimes when they don't need it?


I'm looking forward to the weekend. My kindergartener's first school program is tomorrow (Thanksgiving), and she's been singing "Turkey Dinner" all over the house. Surely some cute kid will emerge dressed in feathers, and afterward we'll all gather in those tiny little seats to enjoy a pot luck dinner. How I love the holidays!

Back on the beat tomorrow.

News Mom T