I'm roughly a month late reacting to this (as you know, extracurricular reading is difficult when you've got little ones) -- but if you get a chance, read the article in last month's issue of Rolling Stone magazine entitled "Sex and Scandal at Duke." And breathe easy; the story is NOT about the alleged rape involving members of the Duke lacrosse team.
Here's the link: http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/10464110/sex__scandal_at_duke
The story IS about the culture of sex at the school.
Promising university students Sarah, Naomi, Anna (not their real names) and others give Rolling Stone reporter Janet Reitman a peek at their lives. They strive to have it all -- perfect grades, perfect bodies, perfect clothes and an active social (and sex) life.
You've got to hand it to them...their balancing act is pretty good: classes, studying, working out and partying into the wee hours of the night. I went to class, and did my share of partying in college -- but the working out and looking perfect part pretty much went out the window.
What's disconcerting -- and disappointing -- is the girls' lack of self-respect when it comes to their relationships with boys.
These girls -- former high school class presidents, sports stars and honor students -- say they'll "hook up" with a popular lacrosse player or fraternity boy, knowing the boy may very well be having sex with several other girls that night... in hopes of being invited to a formal or the next frat party.
There's more...but I'll let you read it and form your own opinions. One line that really struck me came from "Allison" -- she said that if her mother knew of how she behaved, she'd "smack me across the face... because I was not brought up in that kind of environment."
If you're a parent with children in college or nearing college, you'll probably have some strong emotions after reading this. I think it’s worth showing your children and talking to them about it. Not just girls, but boys too. Because self-respect goes hand in hand with respecting others.
I'm anxious to hear your comments.
News Mom "V"
About Me
- Tracie Potts
- I'm your typical minivan-driving, PTA wife and mom of three covering news on Capitol Hill. I've been a broadcast journalist for 18 years, most of it for NBC. I'm very involved in church -Holiness is very important to me. I like staying busy and I love communicating with people - virtually and in person.
1 comment:
This really made me think about what we teach our girls when they're YOUNG... and the influence we mothers have on their self-esteem and development. It's funny -- my 5-year-old can be quite narcisstic ("Mommy, I look like a princess!") and I'm always trying to tone that down. But an older mother once told me not to be TOO hard on her, because you WANT her to grow up with a confident self-image. This article reminds me of just how important that is.
On the other hand, I was recently doing a story about teen girls hooking up with older men online (yikes!). An expert who deals with many of these girls told me at least half of them come from strong, two-parent homes where the parent appeared to do everything right. Makes you wonder: given equal support at home, what makes one girl a strong, confident woman and another girl grow up lacking in self-esteem?
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