If you don't know what "POS" means, your kids could become the victim of an online predator. It means "parent over shoulder - change subject." It's what your kids say when they're IMing (instant messaging) and you walk in the room and they're talking to someone, or about something, they want to hide. Here are links to some common IM shorthand and "emoticons":
http://www.datingagain101.com/shorthand_im.html
http://www.jimreal.com/intsymbl.html
http://www.kassj.com/netiquette/smilies.html
I'm sharing these because today we covered those explicit instant messages between former Congressman Mark Foley and former pages. I won't comment since I'm covering the story and he hasn't been charged. But the situation raises some important parenting issues.
The emails alone may not have raised concern, in context. The teen apparently mentions an upcoming birthday, so Foley asks how old he is and what gifts he wants. He also asks the kid for a picture -- a staffer says it's not uncommon to keep them on file. And he chats about exercising to stay in shape.
It made me wonder: with so many kids messaging strangers online, what kind of conversation would raise eyebrows? I think teens and parents would have different answers to that. So is telling them report "uncomfortable" conversations enough? Do we need to be more specific about what we think is inappropriate?
As for the instant messages, most were too graphic to report so I won't link them here. At one point, Foley's concerned about the teen's mother seeing their conversation, but the boy calls her "computer dumb." I thought: would my kids say that about me?
Recently, to my surprise, I discovered my five-year-old -- who only goes online with me occasionally to do her favorite learn-to read web site -- can pull it up and click through all by herself! How much longer efore she's emailing and IMing? (Not on my PC!)
When my 18-year-old stepdaughter recently moved in, we debated whether to let her keep her computer in her room. She'd not given me a reason to be suspicious, and after all, she is an "adult" now. But covering all these stories about Internet porn, I couldn't help being uncomfortable. Online access in their room is the #1 "no-no."
We talked about it, and I was surprised when she volunteered to disconnect her PC , store it in the closet, and use mine, in the family room instead.
I felt better -- but I still peek over her shoulder when she's emailing and IMing.
T
About Me
- Tracie Potts
- I'm your typical minivan-driving, PTA wife and mom of three covering news on Capitol Hill. I've been a broadcast journalist for 18 years, most of it for NBC. I'm very involved in church -Holiness is very important to me. I like staying busy and I love communicating with people - virtually and in person.
3 comments:
I dread the day my kids hit the emailing and Im'ing years. I really do. This is difficult stuff to parent through. Sounds like you've got some good rules. Thanks for sharing the info.
Thank you so much for the info and links. I have 4 children 11-3. My 8 year old girl is very computer savy and I watch her like a hawk. Paranoid???In this day and age I think parents can never be to Paranoid. Love the Blog. I look forward to reading more posts. I just started my blog last week. Come visit. Jennifer
We have two desk top computers; mine and the one in the oldest girl's (13) bedroom. I have parental controls on the one I can't watch quite as carefully.
My ten year old great-granddaughter (youngest of the 3 I'm raising) figured out how to access porn. I think she stumbled across it accidentally. We sat down and had a conversation I'd hoped to put off for a little while longer.
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