SCARING KIDS OUT OF HAVING FUN

In her September 18 column for Newsweek, Anna Quindlen raises the question of whether we scare our kids too much about the possible negatives of life (i.e. date rape, smoking, the consequences of unprotected sex) and don't remind them enough about life's pleasures.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14753698/site/newsweek/

My children are too young for lectures about date rape, but my son already knows about the need to wear his bicycle helmet and about holding my hand when he's anywhere near a street or inside a parking garage. I don't think either one of these is an instance of going overboard, but perhaps I went too far when he was a toddler, scaring him away from electrical outlets by shouting "No! No! Hot! Hot!"

To this day, he balks at even tepid food or bath water. Both need to be cold. Yes, I have taken away the joys of a warm bath and a hot bowl of soup from my son.

I do try to hold myself back at the playground, allowing him to climb some of the "big kid" equipment, all the while internally cringing and stifling a mother's warning: "No! That's dangerous! You could fall and break your head open."

Finding a balance between scaring the kids into not doing something, and allowing them to enjoy their childhoods is a difficult task. And I have a feeling it gets more difficult as they get older and want to do things like drive and go on dates.

I'm certainly not going to let my son drive until he learns to eat his dinner warm.

V.